Transcribed
by Becky Campbell
June
20, 1946
* Cal's Column *
The editor's
"Colyum" came near dying
"abornin," due in part to too much work that had to be done. However, there have been quie a few requests
for its continuance, as well as some commendation. So here goes again this week.
We have often tried to
prophesy about the weather. We
recall one occasion some years ago we prophesied that a dry spell was in the making
and that a drouth was at hand. This
prophesy was made as the writer started to church. That same night about two hours later while the editor was
preaching, or at least trying to, he saw a big flash of lightning that lighted
up the little valley in which the church house stood. Before the sermon was over, the rain was pouring down and we came
near getting wet on our way home in spite of all or efforts to keep dry. His prophesying was something like that of
an old neighbor of ours who came by in "hollering distance" of where
the editor's father and brother and
"Gal" had just started to "pull fodder." This was about 45 years ago. Our father asked the old neighbor what he
thought about rain. And the old man's
answer was that he saw in the signs a
dry spell. Our father, lowering his
voice, said : "Boys, we had better quit," after pulling the fodder off eight short rows of corn we
quit. Sure enough, that fodder was
virtually ruined by rain that fell in a very short time after the old brother's
prophesy of dry weather. Well we are
going to make another prophesy, and it is that we are "in" for a dry
sprell or perhaps a drouth. We hope
that it rains before we get home tonight,
but we fear that our present dry weather is destined to continue. Our reasons in part are : The recent clouds
have largely vanished away without rain, the clouds have apparently carried
little moisture, one extreme follows another generally in nature. Much rain fell through the spring and up to
a few days ago. So we are fearful that
a hot dry summer may be at hand. As yet
but little damage has been done and crops generally are growing well. However,
the ground in most places is in a very porous condition and the moisture
it contains is evaporating rapidly.
Because of so much rain up to two weeks ago, the ground will not be able
to withstand a long drawnout drouth and at the same time make a harvest.
It is a a dismal picture perhaps, to prophesy a drought when
crops are so badly needed. We hope that
we are mistaken as was the old neighbor.
Our desire is that copious rains may fall during the entire growing
season. America, it seems, is going to
be called on to feed much of the world.
There is even now an alarming shortage of fats, meats, and feeds. a drouth could bring our own nation down to
the level of famine stricked China or Europe. Let us hope that we may be favored of the
Creator with another bountiful crop.
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Well, we have heard another term used for one's wife that we
had never before heard. We have
heard wives referred to as "battle
axes," "those who never lose
an argument," "naggers,"
"quarrelers,"
"fussers," and a lot of other names equally as, shall we say,
fitting? But we have learned a new
one. One man refers to his wife as the
"War Department." And we
would be willing to guess that he always loses the battle. Anyway, one can hardly live without a wife
and neither can he hardly live with one.
A woman is not always the sunshine of a man's life just because she it
hot for him.
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Father's Day passed off last Sunday. Quite a lot of the "Pa's" were remembered in a nice
way, and this goes for this editor.
However the occasion has never been widely advertised as has Mother's
Day. Anyway, we take off our hats to
the dads who labor on from year to year, trying to keep the wolf away from the
door, toiling, struggling, sweating and
laboring in the midst of many disappointments.
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Some of our friends have gotten quite a kick out of a story
that involves the editor. Some time ago
when we were moving some printing machinery to Lafayette, we had three truck men
and two trucks to bring the equipment to Lafayette. My two sons were with me in my car. We purchased the machinery at Russell Springs, Kentucky, about
100 miles northeast of Lafayette. After
loading most of the day, we got through about eight thirty at night, with a
light rain falling. Finding no
restaurant open at Russell Springs, the editor suggested to the truck men that
we start toward home and eat at the first place we found open. We drove to Columbia, Ky., where we found a
small joint open. It was the rowdiest
place in which "Cal" had ever eaten.
The truck men sat down at one
table and the editor and his boys at the other. While we were waiting for our orders, a very smart boy,
apparently about 15 years of age, walked over to our table and said to the
editor: "Weren't you here in
Columbia the other night?" We
answered him, "No, we were here
the other day." He said, "No, it was the other night." "No," insisted the smart boy, "You were too drunk to know day from night." At this the editor became disgusted, but the
truck drivers who knew that the editor did not drink, fairly fell away from
their tables. The boy kept insisting
that he saw the editor drunk, and the editor told him truthfully that he did not drink,m that he had never tasted any liquor in his
life, and that he was mistaken in the identity of the person he thought was the
editor. Finally he said, "Have you a brother?" We answered in the affirmative, and the boy
said : "I know it was your brother
then." We denied this, and stated
that our brother was in Toledo, Ohio, that he had never been in Columbia, and
besides, he did not drink. Again he
insisted that the editor was the man he had seen drunk. Again we denied the charge and finally the
young fellow walked away form our table, apologizing in a way.. However, we are
quite certain he did not mean it, for as he went by the bale where the truck
men were, all of whom had known the ediotor for years and who loved a good
joke, the boy said : "That old man was in Columbia the other
night and he was as drunk as H--l."
Then Buie Massey, Will Halliburton and Woodrow Jones, the truck men,
almost passed out with laughter. They
fooled with the boy fro perhaps ten minutes, but on the last, to their credit
I will say, they said: "Boy, you are mistaken. That man doesn't drink. He is a preacher and he has never drunk
any liquor in his life." The young
fellow's parting shot was : "Well, he looked just like him."
Of course we have had a lot of jesting about this episode. We had been in Columbia some days before we
"et" our supper there. But
the boy's charge w3as entirely untrue, although it gave our three friends one
of the best jokes they ever got on the editor in their lives. Although a little embarrassing, we did not
fall out with the smart young thing that made the charge, nor did we blame
Jones, Massey and Halliburton for the big kick they got out of it.
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